Just fun. Instructions for loading a dishwasher.

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There is not a derogatory thought in my head toward men when it comes to this most skilled and confusing household chore. It is a conundrum almost as baffling as figuring out a woman. So rest assured, this is not meant to belittle or divide men and women but to aid in settling an age old conflict before it arises. Many a fuss has come from the loading of this most complex and often misunderstood kitchen appliance.

Admittedly, the variables are wide and vast given the gunk that could be left on any given kitchenware or the other items already taking up valuable real estate in the dishwasher. The truth is, there really are no instructions on HOW TO properly load a dishwasher.

So ladies, if you bash your man for his kind attempts to HELP YOU (for that you should be thankful, not criticize his effort) then, let's get him and the kids off the hook and have some real life (not owner's manual) instructions on how to load a dishwasher ...what say ye?

Real life instructions for loading a dishwasher:

1. Rinse. Seriously. I don't care what the new ones say they can do. Rinse. Unless munchkins with scrubbies live in there. Rinse.

2. No nesting spoons in the silverware tray. It's cute how they snuggle, but they just don't get clean.

3. Knives...sharp pointy edge down please. No one wants to slice a wrist reaching in to get that tiny lid at the bottom of the silverware bin.

4. If it goes all the way through the hole of the silverware basket, flip it over. Nothing is more frustrating than a tiny teaspoon handle being the reason you can't pull out a shelf. It may result in broken glasses, fits of rage and takes hours to figure out.

5. The hollow side of a bowl should face DOWN (not up) unless your desire is to catch all crumbs, crud and slime for a science experiment.

6. Be sure the spinner a the top is not going to knock anything you've stacked in. Shut the tray and test spin the spinner with your hand. Or, don't and bring on the beat, start a rave and have a small rock band meet you in the kitchen.

7. Nope, regular liquid dish soap in the dishwasher does not work the same. It does however, give you a great opportunity to mop the kitchen floor.

Last but not least is a disclaimer. This is meant to explain the dysfunction of the one who wishes a dishwasher to be loaded with precision.

Please take special note of disclaimer:

To all who attempt and try to help load the dishwasher, please take no offense when that certain someone rearranges, moves and otherwise reorganizes the entire thing prior to pushing the start button. It's not your fault, you tried and did your best. It is however, the re-arrangers attempt to not have to do those 3 dishes left by hand.

Come now, be truthful, it's not that someone else did it wrong, it's that you don't want to wash 3 things by hand. Isn't it?

The above blog is written with tongue in cheek and for fun. The only serious note in here is, don't bash other family members for trying. Lighten up and realize they want to help. Give them kudos for that and don't criticize their help.


Category: Household

About Donna Miller

Donna Miller is a teacher, author, sought-after speaker and trainer. She has been a both guest and host on internet and broadcast radio talk-shows and in television interviews. She is the hostess of “Your Preparation Station” on Preparedness Radio Network. She and her husband are the Organizers of WNC Preparedness Group in Asheville, NC. She is an Adjunct Instructor for Frontier Christian University. She teaches local classes & ladies retreats for people to learn hands skills. She and her husband are the founders of Millers Grain House and, Your Preparation Station and are on the board of PREPARE Magazine. Joseph and Donna have been happily married for 27 years and have three adult children, and one daughter in-law.